By: Ann Eutsler
What is Paul speaking of when he says a woman’s “behavior becometh holiness”? (Titus 2:3)
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness…”
Aged women is one statement that is twisted to take the heat off ourselves. We like to think it refers to the length of time a woman has been walking in the Lord. We can always find someone else who has been in the Lord longer and THEY are the ones who are supposed to do the things listed and we have an excuse for not doing them. On the contrary, aged means years, literal age. The literal Greek translation is “old woman”. We can always excuse ourselves by saying “I’m not old!” That is a cop-out!!! Unless we are a newborn baby, there is always someone younger and we are to be an example to them.
Behavior comes from the Greek word meaning position, condition and demeanor. Demeanor means outward behavior, conduct, the manner of conducting oneself. So how we conduct ourselves should show what? Becometh Holiness!! That comes from one Greek word meaning reverent and holy women. Being reverent is showing a feeling or attitude of deep respect, love and awe.
In other words, do we show by our actions that we have a deep respect, love and hold in awe the Lord? We can say the words but if we don’t show it, it is false!!
How we are to show it is what comes next in the scriptures:
“…not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;”
We are not to be false accusers or slanderers. It comes from the Greek word diablos. In John 6:70, it refers to Judas. To realize how serious it is to be a false accuser, God, in His word, calls Satan that repeatedly. To say or spread a falsehood that is harmful to another’s reputation is doing exactly what Satan did to Jesus. So as women with behavior that becometh holiness, we must be very careful of what we say about others and not do Satan’s job for him.
It is not against scripture to have a drink of wine, but it is a sin to drink too much. Being drunk and out of control does not show that you love and respect the Lord.
We, also, are to be teachers of good things. What are the good things we are to teach and to whom?
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
We are to teach the YOUNG WOMEN how to have the following qualities. The first one is to be sober. Sober means to have self-control, chastity and discretion. Self-control is having control of one’s emotions, desires, or actions by one’s own will.
Chastity is the state or quality of being morally pure in thought and conduct, decent and modest. Discretion is having or showing sound judgment and self-restraint in one’s speech or behavior.
Next, to love their own husbands and love their own children. This was surprising. I think I expected love to mean agape’ or something similar. The word love, in both to love their husbands and to love their children, means fond. To our husbands, we are to be affectionate as a wife, foolishly tender, loving and doting and we are to greatly cherish them (to tenderly hold dear, value highly, take good care of and to treat them tenderly). To love their children means almost the same with the added quality of being maternal, like a mother or motherly. It makes sense in that agape’ love is internal but being fond is shown externally. And since we are looking at behavior and outward appearance, the love would have to be shown by how we treat someone.
Do you look at your husband with snide expressions, or down your nose at him? Do you lean away or pull away from him? Do you not want to be near or with him? If that is the case, then you are in disobedience to God.
Do your children know that you love them and cherish them? Do you take care of them even when you don’t feel like it? Do they know you are there for them? When you come in, do you scream and yell at them or do you take the time to talk AND listen to them? Are you in disobedience to God in that area, too?
Discreet comes next. It means sound in mind and having self-control. It is very close to sober. Being sound in mind means stable, having firm basis and unshakable. Are you up and down all the time? One minute in a good mood and the next, ranting and raving? Or are you up and down like a yo-yo? Are you firm in what you believe and nothing can make you stray from the truth of Jesus Christ? In a crisis situation, are you in control of yourself? This ties in so tight with self-control, you can’t have one without the other. The definition of self-control is a hard one to swallow because we want someone else to do it for us. WE BY OUR OWN WILL MUST TAKE CONTROL OF OUR EMOTIONS, DESIRES AND ACTIONS. SELF-CONTROL!!! I looked up the definition for the word control. It means to exercise authority or dominating influence over, direct and regulate.
God will not do it for us. Our Lord does not want a bunch of puppets! If He did, He would not have given us a freewill. We have the ability to control our own emotions, our own desires and our own actions! When we excuse our behavior with “I can’t help myself” or “he/she made me do it,” we are lying and we deceive ourselves. Yes, we will be tempted but through self-control and having a sound mind, we do not have to fall into it. Are you going to let your emotions and desires control you? Or, are you going to control them.
Are we set apart as holy, devoted and dedicated to the Lord? That’s being chaste. Is He first in your life? Do you obey Him, even when your flesh want to rebel? Does what the Lord want you to do come before anything else? Do you first ask Him, through the Word and prayer, what He wants you to do before you make plans? If you answered no to any of the above, then you are not chaste and are in disobedience to the Lord.
Chaste, also, means pure, clean and blameless. Do you lust after men, possessions, anything? If you do, you are not clean. Do you not want to spend time with your husband but prefer someone else’s company? Do you take someone else’s side against your husband? Do you put him down in private and/or public? If you do you are not blameless. Being chaste ties in with loving your husbands in verse Titus 2:4 and will also tie in with another attribute listed further down.
Are you a keeper at home? What does that mean? I think some of the definitions were a surprise, some were not. It means you are a guard – watch over, protect and shield. We are to watch over our homes and the people who live there and be a shield and protect them from the world, whether we live in a shack or a mansion. It doesn’t matter. It is where we live. It is where the Lord has put us to do His work. Our husbands and children should feel safe when they are home. Do they? Secondly, it means stayer at home. Do you want to run the roads visiting, shopping, just getting out, etc? If you do, you are disobeying the Lord. There is nothing wrong with going out once and awhile. An example of that would be going out with your husband to dinner occasionally. There are times that going out is necessary, i.e. grocery shopping, school conferences, meetings, etc. If it is necessary for you to work outside the home, that is all right. But you should be eager to get back home.
Keepers at home also means domestically inclined, and a good housekeeper. Do you resent having to keep house for your family? Does it seem like you never get the housework finished? Do you hate every minute of it? Let’s face it, women, housekeeping is a repetitive job. We do the same things over and over again. It’s frustrating when no one else picks up after themselves, and especially, when they, then, complain about a messy house. But it is a decision you must make to want to do the keeping of the house. There are no born housekeepers. It is a decision to make it important to you. Why else are the aged women to teach the younger women to be domestically inclined. If it was a natural attribute, then we would not need to be taught how to do it. God requires it of us, so let’s get our attitudes right and be obedient to the Lord.
Good is next. Being good in character, beneficial, morally honorable and pleasing to God are attributes of being good. Good is the same word as used in Matthew 19:16-17, when Jesus was called good and he responded that there was no one good except God. Think about it! Is it to God’s benefit, when we call ourselves by His name? Do we please Him? Do we show good character in our everyday life, not just in church? Are we morally honorable in our actions and speech? If we couldn’t be good then God wouldn’t require it of us.
Here is the one that women hate! BE OBEDIENT TO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS. Not all men, but to their own husbands.! When your husband asks you nicely to do something, do you do it without question, comment or dirty looks? How about when he commands you to do something or yells it out to you? It doesn’t matter how he asks, we are to just do whatever he asks, PERIOD. The only exception is if he asks us to do something contrary to scripture.
Get it right, women, these are NOT options. We can’t pick and choose which ones we want to do. We are required by the Lord to do all of them. Do you know why?
So the word of God be not blasphemed!
The word, word, used in the above scripture, means the revealed will of God. It is interesting to note, that logos (word) used in Titus 2:5, is the same one used in John chapter 1, when he speaks to Jesus. So technically, when Titus 2:5 refers to the Word of God, that could mean Jesus himself.
To blaspheme means speak evil of, to use abuse or slanderous language about, or to speak, lacking reverence for God.
When we don’t do the things listed in Titus 2:4-5, we cause others to speak evil of God’s revealed will for us, but also they speak evil of Jesus Christ. That is bad enough in itself, but lets put it one a more personal level. When we don’t do all of these things, we, ourselves, are speaking evil and blaspheming God by our actions. If we continue NOT to do these things, we will be condemned and we will deserve it.
Women, if you say you are a Christian and are not doing all of these things, you are a liar and deceive yourself. Guess what! Everyone sees it for what it is. Your SIN is not hidden! But the one thing you need to be aware of as you pretend to be obedient to the Lord, is that the Lord sees it!
If we say we are saved and then disobey God, it proves we don’t believe Him. In effect, we are saying, God will not punish us for our sin because if we believed He would, we would not disobey Him. So how can we be saved? Get rid of the pride and rebellion, then do what God tells you to do.
The aged women are to teach the younger women by example, to do all the above things. What kind of example do the younger women have, when the aged women are too filled with pride, selfishness and rebellion to do what is right in the Lord’s sight.
Get it right, NOW! If the younger women fail to get it right, the older women are to blame and the blood of the younger women’s condemnation will be required by God.
Look around!!! There is always someone younger then you, for you to be an example to. There is no excuse for not being a good example. There are enough bad examples in the world, there should not be any in the church!
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
- Titus 2:3
- John 6:70
- Titus 2:4-5
- Matthew 19:16-17