My name is Jeanne.  I will tell you a little about the old Jeanne:   always living in the past, regretting things, ashamed of things I had done, always drinking and thinking I couldn’t do anything without a drink or have “fun” without drinking.

I have three girls, 33, 29, and 15.  It was getting to the point on weekends that I would pick up enough beer so I wouldn’t have to go anywhere or do anything outside of my house.  My daughter April was taking over being the “mother” of my then 13 year old daughter getting her out of the house away from me.  April always asked me, “Mom, want to come with us to Walmart or whatever?” but all I wanted to do was stay home and drink.  I saw April crying in the living room one day and I couldn’t even comfort her because this evil had such a power over me!  I was drinking and set my beer down on the counter one day and Shannon my youngest started to pour it down the sink.  I was screaming at her in such a rage she ran crying to her bedroom.

I started to think I want to change.  I was missing my family, missing life.  My sister Karen called me or I called her and I don’t remember when but we started reading the bible over the phone together.  Of course when we were reading I was drinking and I was still living in the past always bringing up bad things that had happened to me.  She kept telling me that the past was past and it was over with.  She told me to start living today, all was forgotten and Jesus had died on the cross for me and if I believed on him, he could take all of this pain away.  It was over and over and over again that she told me this and not even for one minute giving up on me.  I was on the phone with her one evening, drunk of course on wine, and she asked, “Do you want me to ask the Lord to make you sick when you drink?”  I said, “yes” but in fact I really didn’t want to be sick!  The next day after work I stopped for my beer as I always picked up enough for the evening so I could make it without driving to the store for more.  As I took a drink of it in my mouth, I started to swallow and it wouldn’t go down.  I was actually kind of throwing it back up but I forced it down.  After the first beer of forcing it down I drank the rest of my usual large 16 oz twelve pack.  I wanted this madness to end.  I went to work driving.  It takes me about 20 minutes to get to work and asked Jesus, crying, I don’t want this anymore.

I went down to Grace Ranch in 2010 to be baptized and still having doubts of my recovery but, truly wanting a change in my life.  After my baptism in the Holy Spirit I went back to the world, my little town.  It has been two years now and have not touched to my lips even one sip of alcohol nor had a desire , nor had any shakes or illnesses like in the past after being detoxed three times or talking to a psychologist!  I am redeemed by the blood of the lamb.  Amazing grace has saved a wretch like me, My God My Savior.  My whole life is changed.  I have the joy of new relationships with my daughters and my husband.  I am reading the word of God with my daughter.  I truly have the spirit of God within me and want others to know that there is hope but only through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.